Is Success a Blessing or a Curse?
It goes without saying that almost every person has a successful friend or acquaintance. Can you recollect such people in your circle? Done? Excellent! Now, try to be honest with yourself: what emotions do you feel thinking about their success? Is it envy, hatred, or genuine happiness? Unfortunately, the majority of people tend to be envious of others’ wealth and success even without considering what it took them to become rich or successful.
When we fail to reach something or it seems to us that we’ve failed, usually we get angry, offended, sad, envious and start accusing ourselves because “we are the cause of a failure.” We are sure that we lack something. For the same reason, we tend to attribute others’ success to some superpower they possess. However, nobody has a superpower, but there is one aspect that helps to become highly successful.
What is success based on?
This detail is typically invisible to people outside your intimate circle. That’s why people would generally attribute one’s success to luck only. However, let’s look deeper. According to psychologists, mere luck is never enough. That super aspect is nothing but the resources already invested in a definite matter. The point is that quite often, we notice only a result of some project, action, others’ success, tending to disregard what is hidden under the water.
The factors we don’t notice may be different: a rich granny, personal characteristics (like a good memory, attractive appearance, communicative abilities), or an influential acquaintance. Finally, here belongs the experience a person acquires as a result of hard studying, work, failures, victories, and disappointments. Sometimes, these details are added; but it may also happen that just one aspect is enough. Nevertheless, it is much easier for us to make a conclusion like “they were born under a lucky star” rather than admit that success hasn’t been as easy to reach as it seems to us.
Imagine that you see that your colleague has got a new luxurious car. If you get the same salary and don’t belong to this person’s close friends, most likely you will feel envious of her success. Or, at least, you will start questioning yourself how is that possible. Nevertheless, those people inside her intimate circle may probably tell you that your colleague has been laying money apart for several years to buy a car of her dream. Besides, she has found other ways of earning money by doing some extra work.
People often compare themselves with others, and very often this comparison is rather detrimental to their physical and psychological well-being. Some are motivated by such comparisons whereas others may feel deprived of strength. They start worrying about their inability to become successful and may even fall a victim to apathy and, what is worse, depression.
Luck and success
So, how does it happen? People may have the same background (they have studied in the same group, are holding the same position), but somehow just one person succeeds. Perhaps, it is all about luck, and that is where success comes from?
We don’t have to confuse luck with success. Luck is something occasional, temporal, invisible, and it cannot be controlled by us. Success is carefully planned and deserved. It is pleasant to be lucky, and we are usually envious of such people. Successful people, on the contrary, are respected. Lucky people are not afraid of surprises life may bring them, they don’t lose beneficial opportunities and know how to use them. If a person diversifies their life, there are more chances to succeed.
Psychologists recommend to concentrate not on the current state of affairs but imagine the worst way the things may flow, without immersing into the feeling of failure. This exercise helps us to always feel lucky because so far, we are ready even for the worst. Also, we have to learn to draw positive moments from any event; this way, lucky chances will follow us everywhere.
Surrounding and connections
Well, the world is unfair, let’s face it. People are very different: healthy, attractive, sick, and not so beautiful. If a person has been born to highly educated parents, they have been traveling a lot since childhood, learning languages and communicating with influential people, an ordinary human from a rural place is hardly a rival for them. Some have maximum background, others – minimum. But why compare soldier’s and major’s success?
Work and support
Very often, we tend to disregard how much effort a person has put into something. Is it possible to measure human efforts? To be more precise, how can we evaluate physical, intellectual and moral efforts? That is why, once you feel you are about to start envying somebody’s success, just try to analyze how much a person has put into it.
Also, we should take into consideration such factor as emotional support. Usually, behind winners, there stand people who’ve believed in them, cared for them, and supported them. These may be a coach, partner, parents, or a teacher. Search for people who will support you.
Last but not least, let’s talk about funds. No great project would be a success without proper funding. To write poems, one needs a pen and a notebook. To become a professional, you need to spend money on education. If you don’t have financial support, look for it and create it, remember the girl with a trendy car?
Be wise and ready for the pain
One more “under-water” detail is the notion of stress, discomfort, even pain. We will have to grow whereas inner growth hurts and requires efforts. Pain is an everyday component of success. Failures, losses, mistakes, disappointments. You should know your pain level.
Finally, your wit. There are no silly successful people. You must be clever to properly evaluate your opportunities and resources, set yourself realistic goals. Remember, you should never be afraid of mistakes or quarrels. The thing you should fear the most is your inability to think independently.
All things considered, never judge and envy others because you never know a real story behind the glorious upper part. Work on yourself, believe in yourself and do everything possible to incarnate your dream. As the saying goes, 99% of perspiration combined with 1% of talent will make you a successful person.