Long-distance Love

Long-distance Love

Is it possible to continue loving somebody with thousands of miles separating you? What obstacles we have to face when separated? How can we turn our long-distance feelings into a blooming garden of happy love? Psychologists are sure that distance is no obstacle to real feelings; moreover, such relationships may even be strengthened.

Let’s start with the most typical problems two loving but separated people can face.

Parallel lives

The biggest problem of a long-distance relationship is staying a part of each other’s life. A funny situation at work, a short walk during your lunch break, a fun adventure in a grocery shop – such details seem meaningless at first, and we will forget them in a week. But when you experience all these things with a beloved person by your side, there evolves a feeling of intimacy and involvement in each other’s life.

The couples who’ve got used to seeing each other every day and then had to separate for an unknown period of time find separation the hardest. It happens so because common life gives a lot of advantages and imposes definite duties; two caring people are getting used to relying on each other, deciding everything together, spending their leisure together, sharing both positive and negative aspects of life, etc. When this mutual life disappears, one life gets divided into two, and there appear such problems as untold things, disorientation of feelings, and blurred visions of mutual future.

A lack of communication or its complete transformation

Circumstances may prevent us from living and spending time together, but nothing can prevent us from communicating. Mail, phone, live chats…today loving people have many possibilities of being together at least virtually. Tell and ask about recent events, new hobbies, friends, and emotions, ask for each other’s advice. Why not try different variants? You can watch the same film and then share your emotions, discussing it, and laughing at some episodes. The same goes for books or articles.

Besides, you can set up a WhatsApp date. Light up the candles around your notebook put nice clothes on and communicate warm kind words. Or you can start your common Internet blog where you will write down all meaningful events of your life, as well as your feelings and worries. Make sure this blog is your mutual secret since intimacy is the core of a loving relationship. Also, create your own communication rituals, be it everyday fairy-tales to wish a good night or love letters every morning. Everything depends on your fantasy and desire to get closer to your beloved person.

Communication

Distant relationships get transformed into text-voice, which makes them somewhat incomplete, especially if before separation a couple has used to communicate and see each other on a regular basis. Of course, technological advances nowadays offer many alternatives to real communication such as phone, text messages, video calls, social networks, but as a matter of fact, all these means fail to fulfill their main function. The point is that a feeling is developing and it requires both physical and spiritual connection.

Impossibility to solve a conflict by typical methods

People who are at a long distance from each other cannot quarrel and then quietly make up, which is a usual practice with partners living in the same town or geographical region. If one partner is ignoring text messages or calls, another one cannot run up to them anytime to solve a problem. That is why every conflict may be the last.    

Continuous long-distance communication is acceptable only for those people who highly value their private space and believe that there should be much of it but, at the same time, don’t want to lose the connection with a beloved person.

What makes the matters worse, long-distance relationships may lead to a loss of trust since you have no chance to check if your partner is not lying to you. In a relationship, trust depends on your partner’s personality, their previous experience, a pattern of behavior, and naturally, the degree of their jealousy. For example, if your sweetheart likes to flirt, you may experience real problems. Even if such behavior is not typical of your partner, the fear of betrayal may make a relationship doomed because of the suspicions’ burden.   

Thus, are there any ways to save a long-distance love? Surely, and they are not that complicated!

Self-development

While separated, do not make the gravest mistake possible, do not turn off your own private life. Apart from a beloved partner, you have friends, family, work, and hobbies, right? You don’t have to restrict yourself and put your life on hold until you see your sweetheart again. Instead, spend this time on inner development. Attend the courses you’ve always dreamed of, try dancing or painting, some new hobbies, etc. Enjoy your life, get charged with positive energy, and get satisfaction from the things you do. This way, separation won’t seem a burden because your mind will be occupied with other things. 

Plan your common future

Once you have a clear image of your common future, distance is no way an obstacle to your relationship. Make future plans, discuss your expectations, when and where your next meeting will take place. You can create a list of together to-do things when you meet, and you can send this list to your partner while they add one or some planned issues.

Romance

Distance is no obstacle to romance. Imbue your life with romantic episodes. There are many ways to say “I love you” or “Thinking about you.” The Internet helps you to send a greeting card, flowers, sweets, numerous souvenirs, or even order a romantic supper that will be delivered right to your beloved person’s apartment once you pay for it electronically. You can make up many pleasant surprises proving your feelings: an album of “your” songs sent to an e-mail, a Skype-date in surprising clothes, common shopping when you send a picture of an item you like and ask your partner for advice. Just turn your fantasy on and keep the fire between you alive!

Belief and trust

Very often long-distance relationships fail not because it is impossible to constantly be together but because of mistrust and jealousy. People start suspecting each other of betrayal although they even lack some proof. How can I trust my partner if we are separated by distance? However, if you truly love somebody, you should completely trust them as unconditional trust is one of the prerequisites for a long-distance love.

All things considered, remember one simple thing: genuine love knows no hurdles. Age, culture, religion, distance – all these factors do not matter if you truly care about your partner and make efforts to prove your feelings.    

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